For all my tries I’ll be honest, I’ve struggled keeping the motivation and routine up to keep this blog going over the past year or so. Upon reflection, this is likely to be a combination of personality traits and some mental health issues on my behalf that have surfaced over the last 12 months. Bear with me as this will all make sense soon…
It’s been a whirlwind year, starting with me leaving a job in 2018 to take my career in a new direction by starting another job which was different to what I had done before. This always comes with risks and challenges and I still stick by my decision despite the pressures it would put me through. At the same time, I was also in the process of buying a house with my partner last year, and the final move date arrived in the same week as these job changes! That job however didn’t pan out, leading to further insecurities within myself compounded by financial concerns in the form of a mortgage weighing down on top of me. Although largely positive moves, I felt an awful lot of anxiety in these roles, frustrations at myself and I felt completely directionless and lost. They all then began creating this toxic cocktail that further impacted each other; lack of motivation to work, worthlessness to find a new job, no energy to change etc…
These insecurities and concerns didn’t go unaddressed though, I sought help which certainly helped me work through a lot, but also requiring me to work through a lot personally too. Fortunately now, I am in a job within the gaming industry and although I still fight these insecurities inside me, which can sometimes be a daily struggle, I have plans in place to address these. I may discuss these feelings further in future posts as, in this day and age, it is super important to be open about this sort of stuff, but for now I wanted to explain these issues to contextualise the rebrand of the blog.
A ‘Checkpoint’ to me is something crucial within a video game; it’s a place where players stop to recuperate from what has come before, to reflect on what went well but also what went wrong and most importantly where people prepare for what’s ahead. Whether you found the Checkpoint through progressing through your story, or you were sent back to the last Checkpoint due to a mistake, this place allows you to reassess, readdress and reattack. Now, for me, this applies as much to life as it does to a video game. I found myself always looking forward to the ‘endgame’, pushing myself forward quickly without sometimes taking the time to stop and reflect on how far you’ve come and what lies ahead.
Over the last year I’ve had plenty of Checkpoints that I’ve hit, but only recently have I begun to appreciate the benefit of resting at one to see how I’m doing. This element of self care has become increasingly important to me and has meant I have become more self aware of my strengths and weaknesses. It doesn’t take away the frustrations all the time, but it does allow for a better self understanding and a better idea of what your next steps could and should be.
I speak of these issues from my point of view, inspired by my experiences, so this may not work for everyone but hopefully it serves to explain the design choices behind the rebrand. The campfire idea is largely inspired by Dark Souls, an incredibly punishing game where your bonfires act as respawning points and moments of respite from a grueling game. Max (https://instagram.com/max_rogers_art?igshid=halwa831oa47) was instrumental in bringing this image to life and it perfectly captures my desire to combine this mental health mindset with my passion for games, films and all things Pop Culture. I want this to become a space where people can enjoy that Checkpoint with me, but also maybe get people to think about what constitutes their Checkpoint? Is it the end of a week? The end of a project? Maybe even the end of a relationship or job? Either way, they can be hugely personal to you but no matter what form it takes, its crucial to take a step back sometimes.
Hopefully that makes a bit more sense as to the thought behind the brand. I will touch on Twitch later in another post, but with any luck and a little bit of help, things will start looking a bit more coherent!
I’d love to hear from everyone too, what they think and what they would like to see on here. Also, if you disagree or don’t agree with my approach or the way I see it, that’s absolutely fine- it is always good to see another point of view!